Women and sexism

I have been feeling very uninspired lately, hence the lack of posts. Sometimes, amidst all the emptiness, I lose sight of the blessings He offers me.

Today I read about women and sexism
(You can read it too if you want http://www.newsweek.com/id/235220)
and I had goosebumps reading what women went through to claim equality that they naturally deserved. It’s been a while since something I read hits straight at me, bringing me close to tears and filling me with an unimaginable amount of an overwhelming feeling.

I am a feminist. Different people tend to have different ideas and perception of feminism. Well, those who studied sociology would know these better. Just so that you have an idea, I am a feminist, who believe that men and women are equal. I do not believe we are the same but that we are different but equal. I do not believe that women can do everything men can do, in the same way men cannot do everything women can. I do not believe that, that difference means men are of a higher strata in the society than women. I do not agree with men who think that once married, women should become full time homemakers. I absolutely get frustrated with men who instead of empowering women to be independent, contribute to them being incapable of exploring their best potential.

My mother was a homemaker all her life, until she was 44 years old (can you believe that?). My father never quite agreed with women working if the man in the house is already working. When I was 15, my father underwent a major heart surgery, after which he was no longer able to perform at his workplace as he did before. He had to quit his job. Of course, by God’s grace, he received monthly compensation of SOCSO because of his condition. It was then, that my mother had to take up a job, to bring income to the family, so that we could make ends meet.

My father didn’t even feel a need for my mother to be able to drive a car or atleast ride a motorcycle until she had to start working. That was how dependent my mother was on my father. She could never go to a family gathering or any public gatherings without my father. It was like she did not have an identity of her own at all. I hated that. I hated seeing my mother feel so lost at public gatherings without my father. I could see how much her life has been affected because she has been living under the identity of my father.

It could be that these were some of the reasons why I am major advocate of equality of gender. I wanted women to be empowered, and have their own identity as well. I never wanted any women to be in a position where they’re unable to live life to the fullest because their potential has been limited by husbands who restrict women to a little box of roles.

That were things I’ve been pretty aware of since I was 15.

It was only now that I realised that who I am today, the gifts I have are Christ’s way of advocating for the same cause.

I am not your average female. You can ask any of the people who know me and they would tell you. And I say this not to boast for everything I have has been given to me by the grace of God. Hence, I possess nothing that I have. How can I claim ownership for something that was never my own?

I am a woman, who was brought up in a school where I was given plenty of leadership opportunities. When I was in the university, I was the first Indian female Timbalan Ketua Pembantu Mahasiswa of 6th college. I was the first President of the Biomedical Science Society of UM, and I am a female. I always stood equally tall as other men leaders, if not better. Men vote for me to be in leadership positions. Regardless of where I worked, I am respected to be an equal among the men.

No, I am not a tomboy, a woman with masculine traits. I am a woman, in all its essential meaning. I love children, I love dressing up, I love white dresses, I love wearing earrings, I love beautiful shoes, I love reading love stories, I love watching romantic comedies, I am sensitive to myself and to those around me, I am nurturing and caring, I look forward to getting married with a man I love, I dream of a perfect love story for myself, I get attracted to men. In total, I am a very feminine woman, who also happens to be very successful.

In all this that I am, I realised what God did with me from the beginning. He loved me to be the feminist I am. He made me that way for reasons I cannot understand. Perhaps, He wants others to learn to see women truly as an equal, not only superficially. My gifts are not my own. My Father gave them to me. That much He loved me that He made me a visible equal to men, that they may see and learn too. He loved me as an equal, though being God. I am humbled at how I learn new things everyday on how much He loves me.

If you are a man, and you are reading this, and you feel angered or frustrated at what I am saying, then maybe, there is a need for you to examine your conscience. Maybe, knowingly or unknowingly, you did not believe in gender equality. Maybe you practise selective gender equality. Maybe, deep down, you still believe that men are superior to women and women need to acknowledge that. Maybe, you have not been empowering women, instead you have been putting them to be inferior. If you find yourself doing anything of that, think again. I am living example, by God’s grace, that men and women are indeed created equally, different but equal, each for their purpose, each given gifts according to His own grace. No one is superior to the other, not by nature, not by role, not by any reason whatsoever.

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